


The New Neighbors

by portlandborn



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), The Office (US)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-16 05:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/portlandborn/pseuds/portlandborn
Summary: Jake and Amy move to a new house and meet their new neighbors, the recently transplanted Halperts.





	1. Chapter 1

The last box, thank god, it was heavy, but he didn't care, it was the last one, Jake hated moving, it meant organizing and cleaning, two things he loathed, but now, only unpacking remained. Their new townhouse was much nicer than their old place, and it was big enough so that if and when they did have kids, there would be room for them. Jake liked the neighborhood, it was a lot of younger families, a park right across the street from them and a grade school a block and a half away.

"Ames! Where do you want this last box?" Jake was at the bottom of the stairs, he did not want to haul it up unless it was absolutely necessary.

"What does it say, Jake?" She shouted from upstairs, and she sounded annoyed, it wasn't his fault that some of the boxes weren't marked, well, actually it was, but he was hoping she'd overlook that.

"It doesn't say anything, I thought you were a genius, sorry."

"Yeah, I'm a genius, my husband can't mark boxes, c'mon Peralta, bring you're a-game."

Jake shook his head and laughed as the opened the box, "bathroom stuff, which one?"

"Downstairs, the two up here are all full of stuff already."

Jake placed the box in the bathroom and walked to the couch in the only partially full living room as Amy came down the stairs thinking the same thing. "Excellent, rub my feet, babe, they hurt, please."

Amy gave Jake her best sad face, normally he would fight it, but she had worked hard and had been training for her Captain's exam while packing and moving as well. The front door was open, but the screen door was closed as they saw a couple approach their home.

"People alert, Ames, probably Mormons."

"No, they come in same sex pairs, look at them Jake, I'd say neighbors."

"Damn, Mormons are easier to get rid of."

"Hello?" The tall man outside called to them, "Sorry to bother you on moving day, we're your neighbors, we just moved in two weeks ago."

Jake and Amy stood up, "be nice or I'll hurt you," Amy whispered as the walked towards the door. Amy opened it and a tall man and a much shorter woman stood there, they both looked to be in their late thirties, early forties. "Hi, guys, come on in for a second, I'm Amy Peralta and this is my husband, Jake."

The woman shook their hands first, the man didn't look thrilled to be meeting new people, "I'm Pam Halpert and this is my husband, Jim, who is not happy having to meet new people, despite the fact that he does that for his job."

Jim grinned at his wife, "that's different, I know of them, this is more nerve racking, plus, look at their t-shirts, they're policemen."

Jake laughed, they were both wearing NYPD shirts, many people were nervous meeting cops, even though they hadn't had bad experiences, the media didn't always cover the nice things the NYPD did. "Yeah, we work at the ninety-ninth precinct, I'm a detective and my wife, Amy, was a detective, but now she's a sergeant."

Amy led everyone in to sit down, she thought their neighbors seemed nice, they hadn't had very social or young neighbors in the past, so this could be nice. "We met at our precinct, were partnered together a lot and then got together and then married, last May."

Jim nodded, "Wow, newlyweds, you don't seem that way."

"We've known each other a long time, we were good friends first, made it easier I guess."

Jim and Pam looked at each other and laughed, "we met at work, but nothing as interesting as the NYPD, we met at a paper supply company in Scranton, Pennsylvania," Pam said, still laughing.

Jake tried to look impressed, "paper, wow, must be fun?"

Jim and Pam both shook their heads, "not even a little, luckily we don't do that anymore. Jim works with athletes, he started a company that represents athletes, but allows them to keep more of their profits, unlike traditional agents."

Jake was impressed, "seriously, have you met Steph Curry? He's my god. Seriously, I pray to him, the NYPD still won't let me take off his birthday even though I've proven it's my biggest religious holiday."

Jim smiled, hoping Jake was mostly joking, "I have, once, he was very nice. We lived in Austin for the past four years, but we're opening an east coast office here in Brooklyn. Austin is nice, but trying to get a bunch of pro athletes to come to a town they would never go to because there are no pro teams there didn't make sense anymore, so I finally talked them into branching out, but it backfired because we're in Brooklyn, no offense, but I like space, I'm not used to the big city, God, I sound like a hick."

Amy shook her head, "not at all, it would take getting used to, we're both from here, but it's crazy, the things we've seen as cops, crazy."

"Quick, craziest things you've seen, no thinking, just say them." Jim blurted out smiling, Jake was starting to like him, and not just because he might score him tickets to sporting events.

Amy went first, "a crazy arsonist who made her clues through the Times crossword, a man named Joe Uterus who killed a huge number of stray dogs, a guy who kidnapped my husband in an old ice cream truck and tried to kill him."

"No way," Pam blurted out, "No way, wow, we should go now, we'll seem really boring."

Jake laughed, "for me, Amy and I both worked a case where a bird ate its owner, bones and all, I went undercover with the mob for six months, I went into witness protection for a different mob guy, and I pissed off Reginald VelJohnson."

"Sergeant Powell from Die Hard?" Pam asked, "what did he do?"

"Uh, well, that wasn't for a case, actually, it was supposed to be for my bachelor party, but I have very strange friends, it's a long story."

"Must be difficult to have strange friends and be a cop," Jake added.

"Wellll, they're all cops, good ones too, but still strange. Jim, mind if I ask why you're wearing a spray-painted t-shirt for Schrute farms?"

Jim laughed, "my friend, who is very crazy, owns it. It's a beet farm, it's terrifying, but I worked with him for a long time."

Jake and Amy looked at each other, "Jake and i went there for the weekend two months ago, supposed to be a romantic weekend getaway, our friend Charles told us about it, we were not prepared. His wife, she is terrifying, so mean, and I'm a sergeant with the NYPD, the cousin, Mose? I keep expecting to find out about the bodies he's hidden."

Pam laughed hysterically, "us too, he's in love with a scarecrow, not even lying."

"Jim, why Brooklyn, why here, I can't imagine you do poorly for yourself?" Jake asked, curious as to why choose Brooklyn if he was a successful guy who didn't like big cities.

"Close to the Yankees, Mets, Nets, Knicks, Giants, Jets, all huge markets, I convinced the board that we couldn't alienate their players by being so far away from them, and players from other east coast teams are far more likely to come here. As for the house, we're pretty down to earth, I do okay, but we don't want to be rich dicks, sorry, but it's true. I don't want spoiled private school kids and all that, our daughter is going to start second grade and our son will start first grade."

Jake nodded, "cool, two kids? Who's watching them now, keeping in mind I will have to arrest you if you say locked in the trunk."

Amy hit him softly, "Jake is kidding, mostly, sorry, we don't have a lot of non-cop friends."

"Our kids are in Scranton with my mom, and no problem, we have twisted senses of humor, Jim had to see the corporate therapist for the cruel pranks he used to play on Dwight when we worked at Dunder Mifflin, before they became friends, and after."

Jake was curious, "really, best pranks, no thinking, just say them." Stealing Jim's line from earlier.

Pam blurted out first, "I convinced him he worked for the FBI and he threw away his phone, Jim placed all his items in a vending machine so he had to buy them back, with nickels, he also put his desk in the men's room, convinced him to bleach his hair to spy on people, I made a list of all of them, it's at home, almost two-hundred, it was really boring there."

"What about you Pam, what's your line of work?"

"Well, Amy, sadly, nothing right now. In Scranton I was a receptionist and office manager, super boring, in Austin I started a business painting murals, specializing in children's bedrooms. I will need something here, I get bored, and Jim says he'll divorce me if I get boring."

"Not true, not true. It took us being together five years for me to convince her that she was all I'd ever need, she doesn't realize how great she is." Jim took Pam's hand as she stuck out her tongue at him.

Amy laughed, "Jake is like that, he's one of the most decorated detectives in the NYPD and still thinks he's not smart enough for me, but it's also what makes him great."

Jake was embarrassed now, "She's with me for my body, I'm really hot, it's just hard to tell."

"Well, we don't want to take a lot of your time, we wanted to invite you over for dinner and beers. Pam found and loves this Ukrainian place, perogies and potato pancakes."

"That's one of Amy's favorites, Harkov Café?"

Jim nodded, "yeah, that's the one. What do you guys say? Our place, right next door, number 21, in an hour?"

Jake and Amy looked at each other and both seemed okay with the invite, Amy turned to them, "that sounds great, thank you."

An hour later, after the both of them showered, Jake and Amy were seated at Jim and Pam's table, "How long have the two of you been married?" Jake asked, seeing a very pregnant Pam in her wedding picture.

"Nine years October eighth, and if you saw our wedding picture, we were engaged well before Pam got pregnant, we dated over two years before getting married, a year before getting engaged, and were best friends a while before that, it took a while to get together because Pam was engaged to another man."

Jake choked on his perogy, "What? That's not easy to deal with. I realized I loved Amy and then she got together with the world's most boring douchebag."

Amy nodded, "sadly, he's not wrong. But when I broke up with that guy, Jake was dating a hot lawyer, female lawyer."

Pam chuckled, "when I broke up with my ex, sadly it was a week before our wedding, but I knew he wasn't right for me, and then Jim dated someone else for eight months, but we needed those experiences to help us realize how good we were for each other."

"Jake, what's the most scared you've been on the job, if that's not too personal to ask?"

Jake shook his head, "well, I got framed, by a bad cop and did two months in a federal prison in South Carolina, that was easily the worst, by far, the scariest and just the worst, but it made me a better cop, I wish I hadn't gone, but it made me better."

Pam and Jim both stared with open mouths, "you're kidding, how'd you finally get out?"

Jim smiled at Amy, "my wife, she was my girlfriend then, and my squad wouldn't give up proving our innocence. In the end, it all worked out, I learned I liked reading in prison, which this one likes because she's a dork."

Amy hit him, hard this time, "I'm bookish, I love books, I like reading, he's more into movies and can't leave police work at work. He talks about his cases in his sleep."

"Don't let him make you feel bad, Amy, I'm a book dork, and a music dork, she's an artsy one, and she likes really violent movies, you'd think I was the bad influence, but she put on Die Hard in the same room as our oldest."

Pam hit Jim this time, "he loves to bring that up, she was two, she was playing, it didn't hurt her."

Jake was impressed, "who cares about that, you're my hero, Die Hard, I'm super obsessed with that movie, it's why I became a cop."

Amy frowned, "and this is where we scare away our new friends, Jake's unhealthy obsession with a Bruce Willis movie, of course, my competitive side scares people away too."

"Really, you, Amy?" Jim didn't believe it, "I just can't see it."

Amy sighed, "I seem normal, but I get intense, I left Jake handcuffed at the precinct, so I could beat him in a competition and I'm no longer allowed to run in our Precincts 5K fundraiser because I accused a sixty-seven year old man of taking steroids and may have made him cry."

"Sorry, guys, we're probably freaking you out, we're nice people, just weird." Jake said, realizing what their stories must sound like.

"Hell no, you guys are great, there are so many boring people out there, we worked with crazy people in Scranton and for the past four years, Jim's office buddies are soooo boring, blue tooth headset guys, I almost divorced Jim when I saw him wear one."

"It's true, I went douchebag for a while, but I repented and came to my senses. Jake, as a policeman, are you allowed to work other jobs on the side?"

Jake shrugged, "yeah, some do, security or things like that, it gets difficult, with uncertain hours and lots of overtime."

"My company is looking to get security, we had minimal in Austin, but we would like real security, so when our clients visit us, they feel secure and don't have to worry, or bring a huge security entourage."

"Wow, that would be awesome, I'd have to check with my captain, make sure there's no conflict or anything."

"And you too Amy, I would actually like to see some of these guys make the wrong comment and get clubbed or zapped."

"Oh man, you should have seen her when this huge ex NFL guy, I didn't know him then, still don't, but we were security detail for some politician and he refused to listen and got aggressive, she took him down with her baton, one hit and he's down, calling her names, terrible names, he goes to take a swing, from his knees, and she gets his arm, pushes him down with her foot and cuffs him. Seriously hot."

Amy rolled her eyes and then closed them, wishing she could escape, "thanks, Jake, we don't sound aggressive or weird at all."

Pam looked at Amy, "did you ever work by Pratt Institute of Design, I went there, for three months, and you really do look familiar, especially if I picture you in a uniform."

"Yeah, totally, before I became a detective, that was part of my beat, I liked the campus, lots of creepy guys though."

Jim nodded, "yeah, several hit on her even though she was newly engaged, one even tried to convince her to stay there and leave me."

Pam rolled her eyes this time, "it wasn't quite like that, we were friends."

Jake shook his head, "people try to hit on Amy all the time, polite women are always treated like targets by the weirdos and pervs."

Jim nodded, "totally, even the hipsters and hippies in Austin, and Pam was pushing a stroller with two kids in it."

Amy glanced at her watch, "oh man, it's getting late and we have to set up our bed and then be to work early tomorrow. Thanks so much, guys, we really appreciate it and we had a lot of fun."

"Yeah, thanks Jim and Pam, we look forward to meeting your kids, unless they throw rocks, then don't let me see it."

"Thanks for coming, we hope to get to know you guys, this was fun, and getting Jim to know other people can be difficult, especially because he works with such boring people and doesn't trust humanity to not be boring or stupid."

"True story, and don't forget douchey."


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Peraltas and the Halperts go out for a night on the town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Readers, please give feedback. This one is the most difficult for me to write as it blends two shows I love, so i end up feeling that it drags or is meh, so feedback either confirming or denying that would be greatly appreciated, thanks, Portlandborn

“Terry don’t lift my new couch all by yourself.” Jake was following behind barely keeping hold of an ottoman.

“Don’t worry, I won’t drop it, Terry’s got this.”

“I’m not worried about that, you’re making me look bad, we’ve talked about this.”

Jake opened the door for Terry as he brought in the new couch, he was about to shut the door when he saw Jim walking up to him.

“Jim, hey, how’s it going?”

“Hey Jake, pretty good, do you have quick minute, I know you’re busy.”

“Sure, come in, Terry, come meet my neighbor, Jim.”

Jim did a double take when Terry and his muscles came into view, “nice to meet you Jim, Terry Jeffords.”

“Terry, you played for Syracuse, even had a chance in the NFL.”

Terry nodded impressed, “that’s right, but true calling was as a father and sergeant in the NYPD.”

“Jim’s a sort of sports agent and knows the athletes and all bouts em.”

Jim laughed, “well, sort of, but speaking of which, I have some NFL rookies coming to our place to look things over and I need recommendations for good restaurants and maybe clubs, I won’t do that though.”

“Let me think and I’ll text you, Pam gave us your cell numbers, if that’s okay.”

Jim nodded, “Totally. The other reason I wanted to come over is to see if you and Amy would be up to going out, our treat, my company’s treat, where I will pitch you guys working for us, even if you say no, and it will take a minute, it’s really just to make my company pay for our married people’s double date.”

“Yeah, that sounds great, Amy had fun the other night, I’ll get back to you with our schedules, they can get weird sometimes, crime is the one thing you can always count on in New York.”

“Yeah, I know, or I’ve heard. I’m pretty nervous about moving my family here, Scranton was depressing but basically safe and Austin was hipster paradise. It’s weird for me, Pam seems fine, but the blame is on me. Sorry, babbling.”

Terry clapped his shoulder with his hand, “Jim, good parents worry, it’s our job, but things aren’t as bad as they seem, there’s crime everywhere, here we hear about it more because we’re so close together. At Syracuse, three blocks away from my Fraternity, this guy killed three people, and that’s a sleepy town, man.”

Later that day, Amy walked in the house wearing her sergeant’s uniform, “Jake! Did you get anything for dinner? If not, you’re a dead man.”

“In the kitchen, Thai food.”

Amy walked in the kitchen, “nice job, I’m starving today. You made a lot of progress today, the new couch looks nice too.”

Jake kissed his wife and then sat down as she started to eat, “Jim dropped by and invited us out one of these nights, the dinner is on his work, he said he’d pitch to us about working security, but it’s just to get a free dinner and hang out.”

Amy looked at him with surprise, “you, Jacob Peralta, want to go out with an adult couple?”

“Yeah, I like those two, not like Holt and Kevin where you feel like you need a phd to keep up, or Charles and Genevieve where you feel dirty if you listen to anything either one says. Sharon and Terry are always busy, so yeah, the last time we hung out with couples, it was our parents.”

Amy nodded, “oh yeah, last month, your dad showed us his testicle scar after he drank half a bottle of wine by himself.”

“Sorry, bad memory to bring up, we’ll both need therapy. What nights do we both have free in the next week?”

“Neither of us has late shifts in the next two weeks, Holt said he owed us for being the only ones to never complain about our shifts.”

“I’ll text Jim.”

Two nights later, Jim, Pam, Amy, and Jake were seated at Henry’s End, a popular gourmet bistro. “Last time I was here I was working a case, following a drug smuggler who loved this place.”

“Wow, you guys have interesting lives, my life revolves around feeding and running after our kids, and Jim does that when home and work babysits large children and deflates egos.”

Jake shook his head, “Jim’s job sounds amazing.”

“No, it’s not as great as I imagined, it’s cool, it treats me awesome, I make way better money that I did as a paper salesman, but it’s still an office job.”

“I love office work, paperwork, data entry, but I also like kicking in doors and chasing perps.” Amy smiled as she downed her first drink.”

“Ames, drink one more or they’ll think you’re ditzy.”

Pam seemed shocked, “we would never think she’s stupid for only having a drink, you don’t have to drink.”

Jake laughed, “no, it’s not that, she gets ditzy if she only has one drink, two drink her is loud, three is dancing Amy, and four…”

Amy hit him before he could finish, “enough about me,” Pam and Jim were both staring at her now, “fine, four drinks I’m a perv, five, I’m super confident, six, I’m sad, seven, I jump on everything, and eight, well she’s an equestrian, and not a very good one.”

“Are you serious?” Pam asked in disbelief.

“Hells yeah, our friend documented it and now it’s just common knowledge. Me, I just get more truthful the more I drink, mainly because I’m not coherent enough to lie or filter. I gave an interview after drinking a bottle of scotch with Jimmy Brogan and went off, like a jerk. Not a good night, or next three days, worst I’ve ever felt.”

“Jimmy Brogan, author of The Squad, cool guy?” Jim asked, interested.

“Nope, arrogant, racist, homophobe who could drink four gallons of gin and still be fine.”

“Wow.” Jim stated as he tipped back a drink.

“Wow is right.”

Pam squeaked and pointed, “Jim, it’s Meredith, we haven’t seen her in a while. Look how she’s dressed, worse than normal.”

Jim gasped in surprise, “who’s the perv she’s with, the bald guy?”

Jake laughed, “That would be Michael Hitchcock, most incompetent policeman in New York, and a super pervert.”

Pam shuddered, “they are creepy together, is she touching his…yep she is. Gross.”

Amy finished her second drink, “THAT’S NOTHING! WE SAW HIM DRYHUMP A LADY ONCE, IN A CHURCH, DURING A SERVICE, THAT WAS TERRIFYING!”

“And there’s two drink Amy,” Jim chuckled.

“Yep, in her loud glory. What’s Meredith’s deal, should we warn her?”

Pam snorted, “um, the only pair of breasts Jim has seen more that hers our mine, and he has never wanted to, almost no one has.”

“Beesly, c’mon!”

“Beesly?” Jim questioned.

“My maiden name, he called me that more than Pam, still comes out sometimes.” Pam said as she leaned in to kiss Jim.”

“Noice,” Jake responded as Amy rolled her eyes to Jake-ism, “I still call Ames Santiago, but it hasn’t been very long either.”

Jim smiled, “listen, here’s my pitch, my company would offer you a huge consulting fee to vet and train our security, big fee. So think about it, and because of that, dinner and drinks is on the company, but my partners and CEO are impressed by your record and experience, they think you guys would be great.”

Their food came soon, and they talked intermittently as they ate, commenting on their surroundings or their meals. Pam was the first one finished eating, “So, Jake and Amy, you worked together, were in different relationships but liked each other, what was the first date like?”

Jake laughed as Amy rolled her eyes again, she knew what was coming, “We can’t agree what it was, we had a bet, on who solved the most cases in a year, if I won, she had to go on a date, if she won, she would have gotten my Mustang, an old suffering one, but I won, so we went on the worst first date, or it was supposed to be, but I fell in love with her, and couldn’t get past it. I still count it as our first date, but she doesn’t because she maintains she didn’t feel the same, which isn’t entirely true.”

Amy kissed him, “it’s mostly true, I didn’t know what to think or feel, he was my partner, good friend, and a bit of loose cannon.”

“Jim told me he loved me a month before my wedding to my first boyfriend, we dated for nine years, but Jim also maintains we had a first date that I disagree with.”

“Beesly, it was a first date, dinner, that I made, fireworks, and dancing.”

Pam laughed while responding, “we ate a grilled ham and cheese, shitty fireworks that Dwight had, and the dancing was swaying to new music on your ipod, yet it was one hundred more times romantic than anything Roy ever did.”

“Nice, Jim, a fellow romantic. Amy’s ex didn’t have a romantic thought in his head except for pilsners, he was obsessed, with making them. Ames, you should tell them what he gave you for Valentines.”

Amy smiled, “yeah, instead of flowers, it was a rose infused pilsner, tasted like shit and had weird bubbles.” Amy started to dance in her chair and soon noticed the others were snickering at her, “that’s right bitches, three drink Amy is here.”

Jake laughed, “Ames, you just called people we just met bitches, FYI.”

Amy went a little pale, “sorry.”

Pam laughed, “it’s fine, we’ve missed funny people, and crazy people.”

“We can fill that void.” Jake said.

“Yeah you can! Nobody fills it better.” Amy blurted after she finished her fourth drink.

“And here’s four drink Amy, you’ve been warned.”

Amy slapped him on the back, “we’re together because of four drink Amy, we were nervous on our first date, after all the buildup, and then I decided alcohol would help, and then we boinked.”

“Boinked?” Pam asked as she laughed.

“It sounds terrifying, but I find it cute, she said it nervously the night we kissed as part of our cover to follow a suspect.”

Pam giggled and then eyed Jim with what he called Beesly bedroom eyes, “We had sex on our first real date, like four times, and I think I came like ten times, the wonders of being with the right person.”

“Pam! Well, anything else you guys want to know?” Jim was blushing and turned on at the same time.

“Relax, Jim, this is what real people talk about, not suits, cellphones, business models, and golf courses like your boring business friends.” Pam winked at him and ordered another drink.

“Jake and I boinked three times our first night together, and mama got hers seven times! Four drink Amy likes to feel good.”

Jake shook his head, “well, if I never look either of you in the eye again, please refer to this moment.”

Pam laughed as she finished her current drink, “I got so drunk when we were at a work thing, I was mad at Roy, my ex, that was when Jim’s and my first kiss happened, but I don’t remember it, but luckily it stayed with him.” Pam winked again as Jim shook his head.

Jim held up his drink, “here’s to alcohol, or as it is known to in the Peralta home, boinkjuice.”

Jake spit out his drink, “daaaamn, I’m sticking with that one.”

Amy groaned, “sadly, I believe you. My fault.”

Jake nodded, “your fault.”

Jim signed the bill as the waiter brought it to him, “So, Pam’s mom is at our house with the kids, we can stay out late, what’s next Peraltas?”

“How’d you like to see the precinct? It’s dope at night, and big Terry, who you met the other day, he’s working tonight.”

As the elevator opened, Jake and Amy felt normal, buzzed, but normal, Jim and Pam were very nervous, a police precinct in Brooklyn, worlds away from Scranton or Austin. Pam whispered to Amy, “What’s that smell?”

“That is the unique smell of urine mixed with drugs, fear, and New York. Welcome to the nine-nine.”

“Peraltas, what are you doing here, you’re both off? Oh, Jim, this must be your wife, hi, Pam, right? I’m Terry Jeffords.”

“Jim warned me, you’re huge, buff. Sorry, that’s rude.”

Terry laughed, “Terry gets that a lot, it’s fine, the muscles do that to people.”

“New York is a lot to take at first, and this is a crazy place. In holding, we have a murder suspect, an arsonist, three pickpockets, a pimp, and seven prostitutes. It’s a slow night.”

Jim whistled, “that’s slow? And you guys are okay, not murder victims?”

“It blends in after a while, Jim, like the sound of traffic, sirens are white noise, and when the summer hits and the urine smell in the heat, ah, New York.”

Amy shook her head and rolled her eyes, her typical Jake response, “are you trying to scare them or be funny, or do you think it’s both? Emphasis on you think.”

Jake grinned, “It’s New York, it’s crazy, but the majority are unaffected, don’t hang out on bad street corners, don’t buy drugs, don’t get involved with the mob, and life should be great.”

Pam was laughing, “Jim, I lived here for a few months and was far less traumatized than I was in the office where I saw several weird people naked, was sexually harassed a bunch, threatened many times, at least the criminals here aren’t our co-workers. Creed, smuggled drugs, stole drugs, and possibly killed several people.”

Jim laughed, “fair point, Beesly, fair point. I’ll chill about Brooklyn, I survived over ten years at Dunder Mifflin, I can do this.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwight Schrute visits Pam and Jim.

chapter 3

“Citizens of Brooklyn, escape from your crowded, overpriced brick prisons, a different world awaits you!”

Jake rolled over and rubbed his eyes, “Ames, what the hell is all that noise”

Amy squinted at him, “I don’t know, I was asleep too, you go check it out, curious George.”

Jake frowned, but he got up, four drink Amy had rewarded him well last night after a night on the town with Halperts, so would be a team play. As he stepped out to who or what was making all the racket, he saw three small children running around, two had to be the Halpert kids, the other was a blonde boy with glasses.

“Sorry, Jake, did our friend wake you up?” Jim was standing next to someone Jake recognized, then he remembered, it was Dwight Schrute of Schrute farms and the strange bed and breakfast they had stayed at.

“Dwight, you are loud. Jake Peralta, my wife and I stayed at your main house bed and breakfast a couple of months ago.”

Dwight came up to shake his hand, “that’s right, the policeman, I was a volunteer sheriff’s deputy for a while, it’s good to meet a brother of the blue.”

Jake blinked, “okay? What’s with all the yelling? I can’t believe you’re so chipper Jim, you drank as much as we did.”

“Sorry, Dwight has a unique sense of humor or way of being, you get used to it. Sort of.”

Dwight smiled, “it only took Jimbo and I here, what nine years to get used to each other? I surprised him this morning, we had to come to New York to see my broker, I want to purchase some more real estate, but Scranton is not real growth territory.”

“Well, nice to see you again, I need sleep, or coffee, or both.” Jake was smiling as he went in.

“What’s with the big smiles Jake?” Dwight thought he looked suspicious.

Jim coughed and then blurted out, “four or five drink Amy?”

Jake felt his face going red, “yeah, we shared a lot last night. Too much, well it was nice knowing you, we may have to avoid you for the next six months.”

Dwight nodded, strangely, while smiling, “sex references, nice. My wife and I used to hook up at work while she was engaged to a weirdo and married to a gay state politician.”

Jake, confused, looked to Jim who just nodded and mouthed, “sorry.”

“Wow, that’s great? Not sure the protocol for that.” 

As Jake was about to return to the house, Charles pulled up, “Jake, we have a situation, the Timmons case, he was vandalized again last night and threatened, but worse. Terry wants us to do a stakeout, tonight if possible.”

“Sweet, a stakeout? Can citizens get involved with those, I have done several on my own, I caught two different women cheating on me that way, and that’s how I discovered Oscar Martinez was gay, though I wasn’t hip enough to put it together at the time.”

“Sorry, just us detectives.” Jake couldn’t picture Jim being good friends with Dwight, but then again, Charles was his best friend.

Charles smiled, “actually, there is a ride along program being introduced, our old Captain is being made commissioner and its one of his new programs to help confidence in the NYPD, one second here, I just texted him, you two could come with Jake and I tonight, just four bros staking out in a police van, good bonding, unless, Jim, the new neighbor, no horning in on my best friend.”

Jake turned to Jim apologetically, “you’ll have to excuse him, he’s…weird. He’s very concerned he’ll get replaced, he’s had relationship issues that have done this to him.”

“It’s true, luckily my common law wife and I are happy, she’s just terrified of marriage, but we have a son together, he’s adopted, he was a former Latvian child labor slave, very sad story.”

“Wow, I’ve read about that, that’s crazy. Jim, c’mon, stakeout?”

“Their captain might say no, Dwight, we can hope.” Jim looked unsure about mixing his weird friend with Jake’s weird friend.

Charles phone buzzed, “Holt says it would be a great trial run, we cannot let you out of the van or handle weapons though.”

“What if we have our own?” Dwight asked, making Jake want to punch Charles, hard.

Jake faced Dwight, “no weapons, Brooklyn has pretty strict laws, so permits for everything, no guns, no crossbows, anything else I should worry about Jim?”

“Dwight, c’mon, if we do this, no weapons, at all.”

Dwight frowned, “Fine! But I reserve the right to borrow a weapon if we are attacked by an angry Brooklyn mob.”

Jake shook his head, “no, no, I can’t let you do that, you are observing, we’ll be watching, very little will likely take place.”

Amy and Pam walked out to the continuing commotion in front of their neighboring homes, “Babe, what is going on, you were supposed to check on the ruckus, not add to it.”

“Sorry, babe, Charles came by as you can see and let Jim and you remember Dwight, well Holt says they can come on a ride along and observe us on a stakeout slash tailing tonight.”

Amy closed her eyes and uttered a laugh of disbelief, “Dwight Schrute of Schrute farms?”

“That’s right, I am looking forward to the stakeout, Timmons will be protected.”

“Jake, this is that case? I asked Holt to be involved, one more a problem?”

Pam interrupted, “how about two, if Dwight and Jim get to go and Amy will be there, can I come?”

Jim grinned devilishly, “not if front of people, that’s private, me and you stuff.”

Pam smacked him hard on his arm, “that’s funny Halpert, keep it up.”

“I try, but I am getting older.” Jim grinned as Pam groaned realizing she’d made it too easy for him to comment.

“I apologize, he gave me a hard time for sharing too much last night, now he thinks he’s funny.”

Jake walked over to Amy and took her hand, “fine, everyone can go on the stakeout, we will meet here at seven, I’ll get the delivery truck surveillance van, it will fit us. Dwight and Charles, not weird foods, no fermented eggs, or any eggs at all, that will be a safe rule. Nothing fermented at all, nothing that the fat bald guy would eat on that food dare show, only normal smelling and tasting foods.”

Charles frowned, “why so strict Jake?”

“Because there are innocent people involved Charles. Ames and I are going home and hopefully get some sleep, see you weirdos tonight, right here, at seven.”

Dwight jumped up and did fist pump in the air, Charles followed suit, Jake and Jim both shook their heads while Amy and Pam both laughed.

When Charles pulled up in the large surveillance vehicle just before seven, Jake, Amy, Pam, Jim, and Dwight were waiting in front, Charles jumped in, “Jake, who’s in charge of this? You’re lead detective, but Amy outranks you.”

“Amy’s in charge, always has been, I’m learning now, she’s the sergeant here, but you’d better not make weird comments Charles, she’ll write you up.”

Amy nodded, “damn straight, Chuckles, you’ve been getting away with too much, I received calls from three different fertility clinics this week, they all said you referred us. Can you say creepy invasion of privacy Charles?”

“Are you two trying to conceive through intercourse, Amy’s hips should be tilted upwards, Jake thrusting down in a counter-clockwise motion to allow gravity and nature the best shot at insemination.”

Pam hit him, “Dwight, too far. Too far, you don’t say insemination with human women, they’re not your livestock.”

“I’ll say, the livestock are easy, always going at it.”

Amy could not stop making her disgusted face, “Schrute, if you want to stay on this stakeout, no more talking like that, I’m in command here, copy?”

Dwight stood at attention, “copy that sir.”

They arrived at their desired location in less than twenty minutes, Jake and Amy set up the cameras and sound equipment, Charles donned his delivery uniform in case someone came by the large delivery vehicle, his line being that it broke down and he has to stay with it until morning.

The first ten minutes went by quietly, everyone watching the screens with interest, Pam was the first to fade, “so this is police surveillance huh? Not as exciting as they make it seem on television.”

“No, it depends on who you’re with, before Jake and I knew we liked each other, he would drive me crazy on stakeouts, but they were always fun.”

“One time we were making out and let our suspect go by, Amy cut me off after that, Holt was mad.”

Amy frowned at him, “thanks for sharing, at least I didn’t throw my crappy basketball through a window and blow my cover during an eight day stakeout.”

“Amy, that’s not fair, Jake and I had our first real fight as best friends slash brothers slash soulmates.”

“Charles, I have never signed off on soulmates, I kind of count Amy as that, by the way.”

“Thanks, babe.” Amy smiled warmly at him, Charles was really creeping her out today.

“No, thank you, Ames, this would be life if you had rejected me, or initial rejections had stuck.”

Jim laughed, “Pam rejected me a couple of times as well, it was hard to get past, but then I forgave her.”

Pam shook her head, “you were also getting some from Karen, so I think you did okay.”

Jake stuck out his tongue in disgust, “Sorry, Karen is my mom’s name, bad mental image.”

An hour had now gone by and everyone was bored, Jake had brought several pounds of jellybeans, so they started to play, never have I ever, and Amy wasn’t happy, but at least it would pass the time, every time you had done something they hadn’t, you had to eat five jellybeans. 

Jake started, “Never have I ever broken the nose of someone in a self defense class.”

Amy glared at him as she ate five jellybeans, Dwight did the same. “Nice, sergeant, dominant people kick ass.”

Amy was next, “Never have I ever had sex with a medical examiner by a corpse.”

Jake groaned and popped his jellybeans in his mouth, Dwight smiled and did the same, “it sounds gross, but it was pretty hot.”

Jim tried to clear his head of that disturbing mental picture before taking his turn, “never have I ever had my husband grab the wrong baby at the hospital and nursed it.”

“You’ll pay Halpert, a lot.” Pam downed her five jellybeans.

Charles ate five as well, “didn’t give the baby to my wife, but my cousin, and I delivered the baby.”

“This is why you use a sharpie on the foot people, I’ve been saying it for years.” Dwight looked at Pam and Jim with scorn.

Pam grinned evilly at Jim before her turn, “okay, never have I ever broken up with someone in the afternoon and gone on a date in the evening and slept with and married that person.”

Everyone stared at Jim, it being obvious who the remark was aimed at, “Damn, Jake, you got game.”

Dwight shrugged, “it was Karen and Pam, so eh, a little game.”

Charles was up, he was practically shaking with excitement, “never have I ever had a crush on someone I work with for two years and suffering while they date someone else.”

Everyone but Charles downed five jellybeans, “seriously? Amy?” “Charles, I liked him, for a while.”

“I liked Pam for four years, she was engaged.”

Pam touched his face gently, “I liked Jim but was too scared to do anything about it or allow it to happen, or know how shitty my fiancé was.”

Dwight laughed, “everyone knew, but I can’t talk, I killed Angela’s cat, she got mad, got engaged to Andy and then the gay state senator, that was a rough five years, though we did have sex intermittently during that time.”

Jake’s eyes went big, “Dwight, your turn.”

“Hmmm, never have I ever dressed up a dog like a co-worker as a practical joke.”

Jim groaned, “it was good one though, that dog looked like you with the mustard shirt and glasses.”

Dwight nodded, “it did, I’ll give you that.”

They continued playing for another half an hour when Jake noticed movement on the screen, “look, three guys, one of them looks like a suspect on the list, Ames?”

“Yeah, definitely, Dennis Armstrong, that’s him, let them do something, then we can tie them to the other crimes without a sob story.”

Amy picked up a radio, “uniformed officers of the nine-nine, this is Sergeant Peralta, anyone close to Lenox and East forty-sixth street? Over.”

“Sergeant, this is Willis, Parsons and I are a two minute drive away. Over.”

“Go to the corner of Lenox and forty-sixth, no sirens, no lights, await my signal.”

“Yes sir, on our way.”

With in a minute, the three men were spray painting, Amy, Jake and Charles got ready, “okay, Dwight, you have to stay here, we could lose our jobs if you come with us.” Jake looked at Jim who nodded knowing he may have to restrain him. 

Amy radioed her uniformed officers, “Willis and Parsons, we are a go, now!”

The three of them flew out of the surveillance vehicle while the patrol car came in, lights and sirens blaring, the three men were caught and arrested. Amy got back in the vehicle with the others, “okay, Charles, to the nine-nine, I think Schrute Farms here would want to see a real interrogation.”

Dwight jumped up and hit his head, “hell yes!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another night on the town leads to an unexpected question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give feedback!

chapter 4

A week after the excitement of the stakeout and visiting with Dwight Schrute, Jake and Amy answered their door to find a cutely dressed little girl at their door. The both smiled warmly at her.

“Hello,” Amy said, knowing who she had to be.

“Hi, um, my name is Cece, I live next door, I uh, sorry, I’m selling candy for a school fundraiser, they are candy bars, two dollars a piece, milk chocolate, mint chocolate, crispy, dark chocolate, and milk chocolate with peanuts. Would you like to buy some?” She sighed and then looked around to make sure she wasn’t being watched, “I hate doing this, my dad is making me so I don’t get super shy like my mom was.”

Jake and Amy tried not to laugh, Jake took out his walled, “Thanks Cece, I will buy ten, five mint chocolate and five crispy chocolate.”

Amy hit him, “what about dark chocolate?”

“Eeew, doesn’t even count as chocolate, it you want some lady chocolate, you have to buy it with your money, sarge.”

Amy hit him again, “sorry Cece, he’s not used to behaving, at all, but especially around kids, I’ll take five of the dark chocolate,” Amy took out her wallet and then a ten dollar bill, Cece smiled as she took the money and handed them their candy.

“It’s okay, my Uncle Dwight, not really my uncle, he’s weird and says gross stuff all the time. A lot of my parent’s friends are like that, they have one friend in jail who they visit, Creed, he’s crazy.”

Jake and Amy laughed as they took the candy, “Thanks so much Cece, it’s nice to meet you finally, we like your parents, they’re nice people.” Jake says as he’s already unwrapping a candy bar.

“Yeah, they’re nice, as long as they don’t kiss or hold hands, they do that a lot, it’s gross.”

Later in the evening, Jake and Pam heard a knock on the door and got up together, Jake was hoping Cece was coming back to sell more candy, Amy opened the door to find Jim and Pam, with Pam holding a large boy, well large to still be held by his mom.

“Hi guys, Cece said she sold a bunch of candy here, thank you so much, she’s shy, but Jim’s a meanie and made her do it.”

Jake nodded, “she told us that it’s so she isn’t shy like you, Pam, which I thought was harsh.”

“Really? Jim?” Pam smacked him hard and Philip, in her arms, giggled.

“Ow, well this is Philip, say hi buddy.”

“Hi,” he hid his face in his mom’s shoulder.

“This is our other shy child that I suppose is also my fault, even though James here took forever to tell me how he felt, shy, I’ll show you shy Halpert, just wait.”

Jim picked up Philip, “hey buddy, run back home to grandma and Cece, you can play again.”

Philip ran fast without looking back.

“Your kids are so cute,” said Amy as she noticed Jake looking thoughtfully at Philip as he ran back home.”

“Thanks, we wanted to see if you guys are up for another night out, tonight in fact, we were talking and realized we needed interesting adult time, my friends at work are nightmarishly boring, and Pam is either around the kids or her mom who won’t stop talking about how her dad deserves his kidney problems.”

Pam shook her head, “you are just in a sharing mood today, aren’t you James? But it’s true, I love having my mom with us, she sort-of moved in, she was living with my sister, but she drove her crazy, so now she’s with us, and I love her, but she won’t stop talking about my dad, they divorced after Jim and I got together.”

“That’s okay, Jake complains about his dad all the time, even his mom tells him to shut up, and they’ve been divorced for years.”

“Yeah, but they live together again, and I don’t trust him, at all. But enough about my whorish father, what do you guys have in mind?”

Jim smiled, “I convinced work to let me wine and dine you again, get you really on board, so it’s free for all of us and then Pam wants to go bowling, which I am not convinced of, but she really wants to.”

Pam hit Jim again, “it’s fun, we need to do something different, being a parent is great, but now that we have free babysitting, and good babysitting, we need to have a little fun, even bowling, Jim.”

“Plus, then she gets away from the wine induced complaining.” Jim said this as he scooted arms-length away from Pam, smiling at her, but she took step and backhanded him softly in his stomach.

“Jim’s rude, but it’s true. Are you guys free tonight?”

Jake and Amy glanced at each other, “yes,” Amy answered, “and it’s a bonus because our friend Charles has been threatening to come over with his girlfriend and son and show us slideshows of their recent trip to Latvia, which is a death wish I would not want anyone to face. 

At the restaurant, Queen, an upscale Italian place, Jake was gorging on appetizers and orange soda as Amy rolled her eyes, “sorry about him, he still thinks he’s twelve when it comes to his stomach.”

“That’s okay, Jim is sort of the same way, he would eat a ham and cheese everyday with a grape soda if he wasn’t forced to go out to client lunches.”

“Don’t let the wives deter you Jake, stay true to who are.” Jim put up his fist like he was protesting, Pam held out her hand and brought his fist down.

“Easy there, rabble rouser, no protests here.”

Jake took a large drink of his soda, “it’s okay, it’s true, I eat like a kid, but I sort of raised myself at times, moms was working, and my dad took off when I was seven, so just me, the tv, assorted gummy snacks, and orange soda.”

Pam made a sympathetic noise, “that’s so sad.”

“It gets a lot less sad when you’ve been fed that line almost a thousand times in a ten-year period.”

Jim laughed, “Pam and I had issues for a while, all my fault I know now, but when I realized I could lose her, it was so hard because I felt like I let everyone down, which was so stupid because my rationale was that I was trying to make more money, but that didn’t matter, hard to be a dad at all, let alone a good dad if you’re not around. What about you Amy, what are your parents like?”

“Terrifying strict Cubans, they can be great, but they’re terrifying. My dad was a detective here in Brooklyn, like me, and he researched all my boyfriends, he had multiple binders on Jake, one on his finances alone, and my mom is a control freak, she brought an extra turkey to a Thanksgiving hosted by Jake’s parents, that was super fun.”

“Wow, thankfully Pam’s parents didn’t do that, I would not have looked good, a weird guy pining after their daughter while she was engaged.”

Their meals came soon, and several drinks were also consumed as the laughter and volume increased, Pam was catching her breath from laughing hard when she pointed at Jake and Amy, “okay, confession time, when are you guys going to have kids?”

Jim coughed on a bite of his pasta, “not too personal at all Beesly, don’t let the vino control you.”

“Shut it, we know all sorts of weird stuff about each other now, so I’m asking, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

Jake looked nervous, he knew Amy hated that subject, her life plan and professional plans had recently started to cause a conflict with her desire to someday start a family, Jake never said much because until recently, he had not been included in her plans, she didn’t put his name in officially until they had been engaged for two months, only then did she print out and laminate new plan sheets.

“We’re undecided right now, I love what I do, and Amy has been advancing and wants to be the youngest captain in NYPD history.”

“Wow, that’s impressive, Amy, Jim and I took years to figure out what we wanted, at all.”

Amy looked down at her food, she was quiet, Jake was sure he’d done something wrong, “Ames,” he whispered, “is everything okay? Did I say the wrong thing?”

Amy shook her head sadly, “I want a family, it’s just hard knowing all my goals might not work together, but that’s life, I’m just crazy type A about that stuff, but I want kids, soon. Seeing Cece and Philip the other day, I want that, the longer we put it off, Jake, the less likely it will happen, once I’m captain I’d want to advance, you could advance, things might not ever be perfect, or we’ll want more. I want kids, I’m not super maternal, but I think I’d regret not seeing what craziness comes from mixing our DNA.”

Jake hugged her, “you’re fine, Ames, you’re fine. We’ll talk later, in a less public setting.”

Amy hit her fist to the table, “that’s just it, if I talk or think too logically about this, I’ll chicken out, but I want this, babe, I do.”

Pam put her hand on Amy’s shoulder, “Amy, when I was engaged to Roy, I felt nothing maternal, nothing, but then when I got pregnant after dating Jim for a year and a half, which was a big surprise, I knew that it was right, I was with who I was meant to be with, we were engaged, and it was just right. We worked at jobs we didn’t love, there were some good things about it, but not a lot, but knowing I was in it with Jim, that helped.”

“I got freaked out after Philip and got distant and that didn’t help, I felt like I was failing, in so many ways, my professional goals weren’t what I wanted, I thought I’d failed Pam, but once I pulled my head out of my ass and was just there, all in, life was great. Everything started to work out, Pam was more willing to take a chance because she felt loved and supported, just making the commitment and being there, that’s the best anyone can do.” Pam kissed Jim, lingering and intensely, they both smiled at one another after they pulled away.

At the bowling alley, all four of them got competitive, Jim figuring he had a decent chance, even though he sucked, but Amy had taken a class when she joined a league at her first precinct to fit in with the older officers, Jake had never been bowling with her and was blown away when she got three strikes in a row, or a turkey, and the turkey graphic danced across their monitors.

“Damn, Ames, give us a chance. Not making me look good.”

Amy frowned, “you make yourself look bad, Peralta, it’s all about ball movement. The physics of bowling.”

Pam laughed as she looked at the scores again, Amy was in first, by a lot, followed by herself, then Jake right behind her, and then Jim, way behind everyone. “Halpert, you’ve gotten worse.”

“I know, thank God my friends don’t have bowling birthday parties anymore. I’d be destroyed.”

As their game finished, Amy saw a family a few lanes down, two children, maybe in their early teens, bowling with their parents, laughing about how bad they were at it, she sighed and returned her bowling ball and shoes.

As they entered their house, Jake was the first to address the new elephant in the room, “Ames, do you want kids, now? Not as in you didn’t before but as in right now right now?”

“Yes.” She said this with almost a frown on her face.

“Well, it might be more convincing if you weren’t frowning.”

“I stopped taking the pill last month, I figured I’d chance it, you wanted it, you want it, but now, I really do, I don’t know if I’ll be good, it’s not something I can seminar my way to greatness with, but I have to find out, plus, our babies would be so cute. Jake, what are you doing?”

Jake turned to look at her, his shirt was off and his pants were down around his ankles as he tried to kick off his shoes, “now, we should try, now, or try again, now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. Feedback!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Halpert kids get in the mix.

chapter 5

“Jake, the food, whatever it is smells great.” Jim called into the kitchen from the living room.

“Thanks, Jimbo, making a brisket like my moms used to make, classic Jewish food. Will your kids eat it? I was a picky eater.” Jake was now standing in the doorway smiling as he saw Amy and Pam playing a board game with Cece and Philip, Amy had a lot of board games and when she had learned that Cece loved them, especially the ones Jake considered nerdy, they had played a couple of times.

“They eat most things, Philip won’t do asparagus and Cece hates plain mayonnaise, she said it’s because it’s a weird concept, whipped eggs in a jar, and she prefers if we don’t tell her she’s eating things with mayonnaise, so it doesn’t ruin if for her. They both hate Brussel sprouts, but who can blame them, those are terrible.”

“Agreed, and Cece, it’s best not think about food, just accept it in its deliciousness.”

“Eggs in a jar, gross.”

“Thanks for having us over guys, this is great, our kids love you guys.” Pam said as she stole a bunch of resources in the game they were playing from Cece.

Jim nodded, “Philip did a sharing time on Jake, he may have told a slightly inappropriate story for first grade, but who cares, they get way worse from tv. “

“Oh no,” Amy said, looking at Jake with a stern look, “which story did Philip share?”

Jim laughed, “oh, it may have been the one about the guy with the bag of ears?” 

Amy threw a coaster at Jake’s head, “that’s my story, pal, my story.”

Jake rubbed his head, “I did tell him that, I swear, but it’s too good a story not to tell.”

“Yeah, well maybe you shouldn’t be sharing stories like that with a first grader, if you do that with our kid, you’ll be toast, you’re lucky Pam and Jim are so forgiving and nice.”

Pam perked up, “your kid? Oh my gosh, Amy, are your pregnant?”

Jake smiled at Amy, “smooth move ex-lax, smooth move.”

Amy simultaneously turned red and smiled, “yes, we haven’t told anyone yet, I mean no one.”

Pam and Jim looked at each other, the silence made Jake think something was wrong, “isn’t this where you say congratulations or is me having a baby that terrifying?” Jake was now truly nervous, “Ames, I told you, the worst part is me as a father.”

Pam laughed softly, “no, it’s just that after the night out bowling, I was telling Jim how its too bad we don’t have kids that are the same age, it’d be so fun, then it would be perfect, but then Cece got attached to Amy and Philip got attached to Jake, it’s so nice having fun friends, who we live spending time with, and, well, I mean…”

“And surprise, Pam is pregnant too, we were not trying, FYI, but this is great timing.” Jim said smiling, Jake and Amy weren’t sure if he was serious.

“Really, you’re pregnant too, Pam?” Amy said, more than just a little hopeful.

Pam nodded, a tear falling down, “yes, this will be fun, the only time I was pregnant at the same time as someone I knew was with Philip and Dwight’s wife. That was not fun.”

“The tiny escaped Nazi? That wouldn’t be fun.” Jake agreed. “Jim, how’d you take the unexpected news, I guess you thought you were through having little Halperts?”

“I freaked out at first, well for me, I didn’t say much for a couple of days, it was surprising, to say the least, but we love our kids, they’re honestly fun, and this way I can make it up to Pam four not helping with Philip like I should have.”

“Jim, get over it, you were forgiven a long time ago.” Pam kissed Cece on the top of the head as she spoke.

Philip stared at his mom, “mommy, you’re pregnant?”

Pam smiled, “yep, Philly, mom’s pregnant, do you want a brother or a sister?”

Philip put his fingers to his mouth, “hmmm, Cece is good, a sister? A brother might steal my toys.”

“What about you guys,” Jim asked, “what do you want?”

Amy and Jake looked at each other, Jake shrugged and Amy just smiled, “I don’t know, I think girls might be easier for me in some ways,” Jake said chuckling, “I’ve been around them more, but as an only child I wasn’t used to kids, but Terry has three super cute girls, I’m godfather to the youngest, and I have fun with them, but a boy would be cool too, Philip’s a cool dude, aint that right Philsner, you da man.”

Philip giggled and ran around, “yeah!”

After dinner, the two families lounged around watching Spy Kids at Amy and Jake’s house, Philip who had insisted on sitting on “Uncle Jake’s” lap, was now asleep on Jake, who looked happier than Amy had ever seen him.

“That Antonio Banderas is one handsome fella.” Jake said as Philip moved a little, nuzzling even more into Jake’s chest.

“Jake, you’re scared to be a dad? Philip doesn’t interact that well or cuddle with anyone but us, and Jim has to earn it.” Pam said admiring her son and his new buddy.

Jim agreed, “it’s true, when he wakes up, he goes straight for Pam, takes him a while to warm up to me, you’re a natural, and Amy, Cece can’t stop talking about how fun you are.”

Cece’s cheeks turned red, but she cuddled up to Amy’s side next her on the couch. Jake and Amy traded grins across the room, a silent conversation between the eyes that seemed to communicate, “this might not be so bad,” and “we got this,” all in one look. 

After the Halperts had left, Amy was handing Jake plates to put in the dishwasher, “sooo, didn’t mean to tell them, but that’s really cool right?”

Jake’s smile almost broke his face, “are you kidding? Friends we both like who aren’t cops and don’t creep us out or threaten us and having buddy kids, they’ll be besties for sures, Patty Peralta and Hannah Halpert.”

“I don’t know about Pam and Hannah, but Patty is not going to be a name I sign off on, so think again, plus, what if we have a boy, or if the babies are a boy and a girl?”

“Hmmm, back to the drawing board.”

“You were super cute with Philip, and I actually connect with Cece, I haven’t had that a lot, even with my nieces.”

“Your one niece, Alicia, she acted like she was twenty when she was thirteen, and now that she’s seventeen, holy crap, if we have a girl, they might not get to meet.”

“I agree, she started talking about sex with my mom, I thought that would kill my poor mom, right there, goodbye Camila.”

Two days later, Jake took Jim to a shooting range for some bro time, “Jake, gotta be honest, not so good at shooting, or holding guns, and having to go against a cop.”

“Yeah, I am the best, actually Amy kicks my ass every time, but that’s true of a lot of things.”

“She is crazy competitive, she wasn’t kidding.” Jim said as he tried to get a feel for the gun he was holding.

“She was not, but it’s her passion, she can get into just about anything, and she’s so damn smart, so the fact that she loves me, it’s pretty awesome.”

After a couple of targets, Jim had started to improve with Jake’s help, Jim noticed Jake’s target, “aren’t you supposed to try to group them together.”

Jake grinned, “yeah, I always go for the P, B, and J, penis, brain, and jaw. The holy trinity of shooting, well for me, but I’m weird, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, you’ve met Dwight, right? You guys talk about how you’re weird, but seriously, you’re our most normal friends, I guess normal for us, and we might not be normal, normal has changed a lot.”

Jake nodded, “hell yeah it has, I have no idea what it means anymore. Like common sense, is anything common anymore, I’ve seen stuff Jim, so much stuff, from people who seem normal.”

“So, are you nervous about being a dad?”

“Hells yeah, I mean, my dad? He was a nightmare, such a dick, still is, he’s around more, but still a huge knob. But I’ve already learned to be a better partner to Amy than he ever was to my mom, so I have hope, but it’s also scary.”

“I understand, I thought I was doing okay, and then I realized how I’d left Pam to do everything while I chased some fucking dream, almost losing her in the process, I only came back to this company because she made the arrangements and gave me her full blessing. I learned, put the family first and you’ll do okay, shit happens, hurt kids, puking, fights, all that stuff, but you’ll be okay, and happy, and have much better sex.”

Jake hugged Jim, “one of us! One of us! One of us!”

Jim smiled, “The pinheads from the movie Freaks, right?”

“Excellent catch of a somewhat obscure pop culture reference, ten points to Hufflepuff.”

Amy and Pam were at an art gallery, when Pam had discovered that Amy studied art history in college, the two started talking art, a lot. Pam loved New York for the huge number of art galleries and museums. The gallery the visited on this however, at least the exhibit, left both of them shaking their heads. 

“That was just weird, right?” Amy asked, trying to get some of the weirder images she had seen out of her head.

“Yeah, I mean, they were all grown men and women breast feeding, and calling the exhibit “nourishment,” something tells me that artist will be a suspect in a murder case you work on in the future.”

Amy laughed, “I know, that’s what I thought. I’m glad Jake and Jim get along, it’s not easy finding couples to hang out with, and we also love your kids.”

“I know! It’s been great, but especially for Jim, he was nervous about moving to Brooklyn, it’s not like we had great friends in Austin, our friend Daryl, he was the only one really. And I never have friends who like art, let alone understand it or talk about it, so this is different.”

“Yeah, Jake still giggles at Picasso nudes, like three blue triangle boobs is sexy, but he’s a twelve year old in a man’s body who I married and let get me pregnant.”

“Are you nervous, about being parents?”

Amy looked down, “for me, yes, Jim, no, he’ll be great, I love him, so much, he’s Jake, but he is so great to me, he supports me, he never makes me feel bad for being good at things, my whole life I felt bad for being the girl who beat all the boys at everything, he loves that. I kind of want a daughter just because he’d be so good at raising her and making her feel good about herself.”

Pam smiled, “Cece loves that about you, she always talks about how you beat Jake at stuff and he pouts a little but always tells her that you’re the best, at everything. You’re sort of her hero, she’s started playing police with Philip, and she’s a sergeant.”

Amy blushed, “you’re kidding? Really?”

“Really, it’s so good for her. I moved in with my high school boyfriend because I wasn’t brave enough to move on, by the time I got with Jim, I was in my late twenties, I did art school, sort of, one class short, then we had kids and I’ve never had the chance to really officially have a career, which is fine, I love my life, if not for Jim I’d be married to an ass and have ugly kids who I wouldn’t like and still work at Dundler Mifflin, but it’s nice for Cece to have someone to show her that girls can do whatever they want, it took me a long time to learn that.”

“I grew up with seven brothers and a dad that taught that competition was important, so I had to adapt quickly, I was an outcast for years, but now, now I’m the boss of some of these jerks who think girls should be girly or not be cops or whatever, it’s pretty cool.”

“Will being pregnant mess up your plans?”

Amy sighed as a tear slowly dropped down her cheek, “yes, but mess up isn’t the right word, change my plans, but that’s okay. I hadn’t planned on marrying a Jake, and yet, here I am, and I’m happy, so yes it has, but I’m okay with it. Being with Jake has taught me that plans aren’t always meant to be followed, they change all the time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments my friends, let me know you think.


	6. chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pregnancy stuff and hanging out

chapter 6

“Jake! Get up here!” Amy was laying bed, she was only eight weeks into her pregnancy, but things had started changing, nausea, that was not fun, she threw up a few times each day, but the worst for her had been her constant horniness, she didn’t know where it came from, she just knew she needed to take care of it, or Jake to care of it.

“Ames, I was trying to set up things in the baby room, I know it’s early, but you love stuff done early. Also, we need a new tool set, this one is crappy.” Jake entered the room, “Okay, Ames, what’s up?” As soon as he saw her he started laughing, “oh, another pregnancy induced horniness booty call, I suppose I’ll sacrifice my body.” Jake jumped on the bed and started laughing.

“Shut up and get busy, Peralta.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Jake saluted and then gave his wife the hands on and lips on attention she required

Later that Saturday, next door at the Halpert residence, a similar scene was about to unfold. Pam had experienced a difficult morning, this third Halpert baby was determined to cause more nausea than the other two combined. Jim walked into their bedroom slowly, exhausted, “holy crap, Philip would not stop laughing tonight, took longer than normal, then Cece made me read way more than normal, my eyes are so tired and the rest of me feels the same. Jim laid down and took a deep breath.

“Not so fast Halpert,” Pam’s hand reached down, grasping his cock, “I need to be put to bed, but I will be easy. Get it Jim?”

Jim chuckled, in a tired way, “oh man, first trimester horniness, I’ve missed this, though easier with no other kids or one other kid.”

“Everything was, but that doesn’t matter, all that matters is that I have needs and you have a job to do.”

“I don’t know why, but it’s always hotter when you’re bossy.”

“It’s also hotter when you do what you’re told, that clit isn’t going to rub itself, get moving.” Jim rolled his eyes as he got to work.

Sunday morning, Jake and Amy walked next door for a Sunday brunch with the Halperts, the kids talked Jake and Amy’s ears off for a little while as they ate and finished, then disappeared to play videogames when Pam suggested they do that. “Okay, kids are gone, food is digesting, so Amy, got the pregnancy horniness?”

Jim and Jake both choked on a swallow of coffee, “Discreet Beesly,” Jim managed to choke out.

Jake just smiled as Amy slapped him on the back, Amy got a sly grin on her face, “yeah, he acts like it’s a chore, but he also all of a sudden walks around in tight shorts or no shirt trying to trigger something.”

Jake shook his head, “no, I’m just stylish and our house is warm, I’m very innocent, you are just a man eater, Hall and Oates were not wrong.”

Jim laughed, “don’t feel bad, Pam gets bossy, which is oddly arousing, but as soon as it’s over, she is out cold, no post sex cuddle.”

Jake nodded, “I know, she started snoring before…” he realized he had backed himself into a corner with his story, Amy grinned evilly, knowing how this ended.

“Before what, Jacob?”

Jake looked at her and squinted in frustration, “fine, before I had even pulled out. Happy, Ames?”

She smiled, “I was, that’s why I fell asleep.”

Amy turned to Pam, “this can’t be normal for everyone, my sister in law did not want to be touched her entire pregnancy, my friend only had sex during the second trimester, it’s just interesting that we both have this.”

Pam put up her pinky like a pre-teen girl, “Amy’ pregnancy pals?”

Amy giggled and locked pinkies, “pregnancy pals.”

Jim laughed, “pregnancy pals?”

Pam frowned at him, “listen Halpert, it was that or birth bitches, pregnancy pals was the better choice.”

Jake laughed until Amy stared him down, he clapped Jim on the shoulder, and stuck his hand to shake Jim’s, “Hey, Jimbo? Dad dudes?”

Jim smiled and nodded, “Dad dudes. But Jake, dad dudes don’t shake hands, we hug.”

Jim pulled Jake into a big hug as Amy and Pam both rolled their eyes and laughed at their husbands. Later that morning when Jake and Jim had gone to play videogames with the kids, Pam opened up to Amy.

“Amy, thank you guys for being so great. We were so nervous about this move, we aren’t great at friends, they normally come from work or are old friends.”

Amy nodded, “us too actually. I have one non work friend and Jake really doesn’t have any these days, one of our work friends is an old friend of his, he got her the job.”

“No jealousy on your part?”

Amy laughed, “no, this is his oldest friend, from kindergarten, both raised by single moms working multiple jobs, Jake’s nana took care of them both, they’re like brothers, Gina is very odd and still doesn’t like me a lot, but she has Jake’s back and knows him well.”

“Jim needs this, normally it’s just he and I that are goofy like this, but to see it with a new friend, and the fact you and I are friends, it makes it nice, Dwight and his wife are our only other true couple friends.”

Amy frowned, “that is terrifying for so many different reasons. I am sorry, but I get it. Jake’s friends aren’t in to sports as much as Jake, and while they are family guys, they are a much more touchy feely style than Jake, so having Jim just being there without the intrusion, that’s big.”

“They offered to move Jim to Scranton last week, he doesn’t know I know, but I heard him, he’s way louder than he thinks he is, his hearing is not young Jim’s hearing anymore. He told the CEO that he didn’t want to take me away from my friend and that he was happy here as well. His CEO thought he would rather be in Scranton, because that’s where he’s from and where we met, but Jim was adamant that here was better, for the business as well.”

“Wow,” Amy took a sip of coffee, “are you mad he didn’t consult you?”

Pam shook her head and smiled, “no, just last week we were talking about how perfect this has been, it’s weird for us, we were always dependent on work or just ourselves for fun, it’s nice to have friend friends.”

“Aww, us too, although Jim should not eat any foods sent to your house, if Jake’s friend Charles finds out how close they have gotten, he could go crazy.”

“Mmhmm,” Pam hummed as she drank some coffee, “I could see that, I got that kind of vibe from him. Listen, this might seem weird, but Jim’s parents have been begging us to have the kids for a week, and then Jim won a trip to Hawaii for four at work, we talked about it, he actually wanted to bring the kids, but he and I never got a vacation to Hawaii as kids, we survived, I think adult time would be good, with you and Jake as the other two. I could use a little time away from everything, but it would have to be in the next month because of our babies. Thoughts? Too weird? Too soon? No vacation time?”

Amy laughed, “it sounds great. I can get us the time off, our Captain loves us and everyone else owes Jake and I for covering shifts and completing their paper work. I’ve never talked with Jake about Hawaii, I think he’d be in.”

At exactly the same time in the Halpert’s tiny office/den, “Hells yeah, Hawaii, me and the Mrs. before the lil one comes along, making love on the Island, wait, we wouldn’t be sharing a room, would we?”

Jim shook his head laughing, “no, two separate suites, all inclusive. Sounds nice, right?”

“Sounds really nice, Jimbo, one problem though, why us? Don’t you have better friends? We don’t, our friends are nice and all, just we have more in common with you guys, not just cop stuff.”

“We honestly don’t, same as you guys, you guys are interesting, fun to hang with, and you won’t go off on psychotic rants like Dwight or bore me to tears with dumbass business talk like my old college and current work friends.”

“Wow, real friends, travel together, kids the same age, you guys won’t move any time soon will you?” Jake pointed a finger at Jim.

“No, they actually just tried to convince me to relocate to Scranton, it’s cheaper, my parents are there, but I didn’t want that, it felt like going backwards, and Brooklyn is way better for drawing in clients, plus Pam is happy, she hasn’t had really good normal friends lately, neither have I.”

“If only you liked Die Hard as much as your wife, I’d marry you myself Jim.”

“Well, the Die Hard ship has sailed, but I do have Nets tickets for tomorrow.”

Jake smiled, then frowned, “that is great, but I feel like a user now, Hawaii, basketball tickets, am I dying Jim? Did Amy say something? Are you guys using us to harvest our organs?”

Jim laughed, “okay, maybe you’re not normal friends, but we have fun with you guys, we don’t get that a lot.”

As Jake returned to the kitchen, he ran into Amy and they each blurted out at the same time, “they want us to go to Hawaii!”

Jake said “jinx,” which he knew Amy hated, “just kidding, but that sounds awesome, can you use your teacher’s pet skills and get us off work?”

Amy nodded, “they owe us, big time.”


End file.
